Two guys have wasted their time at airports, in this case, London’s Heathrow, by writing down strange names and asking the airport Information Center to locate these people by calling out their names on the airport’s PA system. These guys would then hang out beneath the speakers and record the results.
In order to make it as believable as possible, they dressed up as chauffeurs and asked for help finding these people about 40 minutes after a Thai Airways or Air India flight had landed.
They acted as if they could not pronounce the names themselves, so as not to reveal the joke, but just handed over a note with the names printed on it and asked the employ at the Information Center.
After the fifth recording, they had to leave Heathrow as airport security figured out what was going on. The last recording is from Gatwick.
Give these guys the Big Practical Joker prize.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
funny quotes and cute funny sayings
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Death is hereditary.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Saturday, December 9, 2006
I RECEVIED THIS FROM A VERY FUNNY FELLOW.THANKS UNCLE DAVE.PLEASE ENJOY:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a >hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "to go!"
12. Sing along at the opera .
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all
day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18 When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, >"run
for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to >have
to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this
to someone to make them smile.
It's called therapy!!!!
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a >hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "to go!"
12. Sing along at the opera .
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all
day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18 When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, >"run
for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to >have
to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this
to someone to make them smile.
It's called therapy!!!!
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Cool Quotes and Sayings
Cool Quotes and Sayings
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they get up in the morning that's the best they're going to feel all day.
"My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex".
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother
Q: What did the instructor at the school for Kamikazi pilots say to his students?
A: Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once.
Camouflage condoms: So they won't see you coming.
A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.
"It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?"
I drink to make other people interesting.
I got a dog and named him "Stay". Now, I go "Come here, Stay!". After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
"Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each, and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making any sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
Eat healthy, exercise more, still die.
Always check for ferrets before sitting.
A friend is someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway.
There are three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.
I don't like small cars or really big women but somehow I always find myself in em!
99% of all people in the world walk around with blinders on. The other 1% walk around in total amazement
. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
The top ten things men know about women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Father always said laughter was the best medicine, I guess that's why so many of us died of tuberculosis.
When he is late for dinner i know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street. I always hope he is dead. - Judith Viorst
I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me. - Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her weight-loss)
We spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.
There ain't no devil, ther'e just God when he's drunk.
I imagine a world of love, peace, and no wars. Then I imagine myself attacking that place because they would never expect it!
Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.
I'm at a stage in my life where I'm having a hard time caring about things. Fortunately, I don't care.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!
The two steps to total business success:
1) Never give away all your secrets
2)
To all you virgins out there. Thanks for nothing.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?
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